We're Both Monsters
by recon-reaper-bitch
Summary: The younger genius put on a mighty fine facade, the talented actress she was, but she didn't actually relate to people. If he understood her the way he believed he did, then she probably tried to make genuine human connections in the past. These would fail, of course. Her intelligence, her convictions, her arrogance, her whole being wouldn't allow it. (fem!Light)


**One-shot that may or may not be turned into a full story. This is my first fic in over four years, so hopefully if won't suck too badly.**

**A/N: I do not own Death Note. **

**Please excuse any grammar or spelling mistakes. Thank you!**

* * *

_She doesn't love him. _

But the touch that started questioningly on the back of his hand turned into legs shaking, unsure against his thighs, anyway.

They were sitting on that damn couch, again. She doesn't think anything could be more gaudy. How a man like L is always surrounded by such things, she'll never know. Maybe he grew up sitting on similar, expensive styles of furniture and it eases his mind to some degree. Maybe not. It's something she'll never have the chance to know. She doesn't care very much, at least not at the moment.

_She doesn't even like him. _

Light's knees are still straddling him, though. She can feel the crumbs of his half-eaten cherry tart denting her skin, but she resists the urge to brush the itching discomfort away. She's all too aware of how odd he is. So unlike her, with her pristine, polished, and perfectly acceptable mannerisms. Light's not sure if he's totally unaware of how social behavior works or if he simply just doesn't care about what's expected of him in society. She suspects the latter.

L looks at her like he's expecting her to pull out a dagger and slit his throat, finally showing herself as the killer he's sure she is. Her hands are innocent, only full of his white shirt she has bunched up in fists at his shoulders. Well, _almost_ innocent . His face doesn't change, not necessarily, but something in his demeanor shifts. Light's far from stupid. Her eyes are wider than normal. She's breathing in and out in a pattern that isn't as steady as it should be for a girl as confident and self-aware as she knows she is, as _he_ knows she is. That's what throws L off.

The greatest detective in world can't figure out her motive, can't determine what it is _Yagmai Light_ is doing straddling him on this couch at 2 o'clock in the morning. When she touched the back of his hand he didn't make much of it. Hands brush sometimes without any action of meaning behind the gesture. The faint lines she began drawing back and forth, following the thick veins in his hand wasn't the same as that. He had pulled away out of instinct. L wasn't used to being touched and he didn't particularly like it. From what he knew of Light, which was quite a bit more than she realized, the oldest Yagami girl wasn't too fond of it, either. _Was she trying to get a reaction out of him?_ L wasn't able to consider it much more than that. He was distrated by the act of Light standing. Not with the smooth poise he was accustomed to associating with her, but with stunted, almost clumsy movements.

Light was unsure.

L was at a loss because Light was unsure.

She was unsure when she stood from the opposite end of the couch. She was unsure when she moved L's laptop from where it was sitting dangerously balanced on the couch's arm. She's _still_ unsure. Even as she pulls L's legs out from his preferred crouching position so she can sit on his lap, knees spreading her legs one at at time to accommodate the width of this open thighs.

Light's getting anxious at this point, not liking at all how unfamiliar this all feels to her. A look of mild annoyance passes over her face as she twists to _shut that damn laptop of his_. The room is darker now the only light availible is from the city outside the window. He can still see her, but not as clearly as before. It's harder to make out her every expression, though, not impossible. Not that it matters. He remembers exactly how she looks.

The change that came along with the darkness was enough for her to use, to wrap around herself like a very transparent blanket, to ground herself back into that perfect, confident person she likes to be. _L knew her._ As much as she hated it, he just got her. Light despised L for it. Light understood L, but not like L could understand Light. He was as unpredictible to her as much as she was predictible to him. _Screw him._

If this is a game she's trying to play, he doesn't know what it is. If he doesn't know the game then he doesn't know the rules. L's going to lose. L _doesn't_ like to lose. He's sinking back as far into the couch as he can, wanting to get her away, get her off of him without showing her how desperate he is to do so.

"What exactly are you trying to prove, Light?"

"Nothing."

Light isn't looking at him. She isn't really focusing on anything, he can gauge that much. L ignores his desire to shake her.

"I have to assume you're lying, of course."

"Why is that?"

If L was willing to give away what he was thinking he'd roll his eyes at her lazy, evasive answers. L isn't inclined to do such a stupid thing.

"If you aren't trying to prove something, then what exactly are you doing?"

"You can't possibly be this socially inept." Light answered with a sigh. He could almost make out the small smirk forming on her lips. " I forgot who I'm talking to. Look at me, L. What do you _think_ I'm doing?"

"As much as you'd like to assume I'm totally ignorant involving such matters-

"Which you are."

"-it's fairly obvious what you're doing."

"Of course."

"What I'm inquiring is _why_ you're doing it. You know that. You also know I'm not telling you anything about my life."

"Seriously?" She removed her hands from his shirt and tilted her head back, clearly aggravated with the topic L was leading toward. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm not Kira!"

"Your actions prove otherwise."

"My actions! Why does everything I do have to be connected to Kira?"

L leaned forward just slightly. "You wouldn't be doing this for any other reason. You're trying to manipulate me thereby throwing off the case. Unless..." Low and deep and accusing. She's never heard his voice like this. He's turning this into something it wasn't. "Light just simply finds me attractive."

_Huh._

"L..." _You moron._ "You honestly believe I'm playing some kind of game. Playing _you_. I'm not."

"Hmm...It doesn't matter what you say, Yagami-chan. I'm never going to believe you." Not now. Not tomorrow. Not in anyway. Ever. When L finally moved, it was to put his right thumb against his lower lip. He averted his eyes, breaking whatever staring-power match they were having, glancing up at the ceiling. "_Kira._"

"Stop it." With a low groan coming from somewhere in the back of her throat, she grabbed his wrist, effectively removing his thumb from his mouth. "Stop it. You don't know me like you think you do. I'm not Kira, L. I'm not going to say it again. Not tonight."

"Of course you aren't."

"I know you think I'm Kira, alright? Nothing I do or say will convince you otherwise. I _know_ that." Her hands found themselves on either side of his face. "I'm not trying to get information out of you."

"Yagami-chan..." His eyes, wide as ever, betrayed nothing. Light didn't know that L found her to be the most fascinating person he'd ever met. He didn't give away how he preferred Light's beauty over Misa's. She was brilliant, a genius. Twisted. Spoiled. _A liar._ Light was a lot like him. L knew all of her characteristics, he knew all of the things that made the girl known as Yagami Light. Yet, he still couldn't find out _what the hell she was doing_. "Even if I did believe that you aren't Kira, you still haven't explained why you're disrupting our work to violate my personal space."

She didn't say anything in response to his question, but suddenly he could smell the coffee she had just half an hour before. Light's nose brushed against the side of L's. Not a grand gesture, though it was enough to get her point across. At least she was hoping.

"Please, L...tell me you aren't that dense. I'm straddling you in a dark room and nuzzling your face." She was almost whispering. L found that odd considering they were totally alone.

L turned solid beneath her, freezing up even more. As if he could possibly get anymore rigid. He was summing her up, blocking the feeling of warm lips skimming across his jaw. He wasn't doing a very good job of it. The sensation was too foreign to simply ignore.

"You'll have to stop that for a moment, Light-chan. I'm thinking."

"Hmm..." Ignoring his words, she continued on as if he hadn't said anything. She was shaking L up. She liked that more than a stable person should.

He wanted to groan. _She really was a brat, wasn't she?_ Yes, maybe. That's not all, though. Light was a rational person, realistic and harsh. Her father liked to think of her as kind. Parents often prefer to think of their children as such. L didn't doubt her sincere concern for certain people in her life; in general, she was cold. Calculating. Cautious. The younger genius put on a mighty fine facade, the talented actress she was, but she didn't actually relate to people. If he understood her the way he believed he did, then she probably tried to make genuine human connections in the past. These would fail, of course. Her intelligence, her convictions, her arrogance, her whole being wouldn't allow it. L knew Yagami Light. He's felt the same way his entire life.

_I'm probably the first connection she's ever made. The first person to understand her. Her first real...friend. _

"You only want to do this because your afraid you'll never get the same opportunity."

Lips stopped moving. Hot, coffee scented breath pausing. "So? It's true, isn't it."

"Most likely." He agreed with her. L had to ask, though. "I'm sure you've come to this conclusion before now. It's not new knowledge to either of us." L raised a hand to her cheek, not knowing if this was the right action to take. "Why now and why this? Aren't we friends and isn't that enough of a connection?"

She started shaking her head. "You know as well as I that we've never been _friends_. We most likely never will be. At least, not until we've brought the real Kira to justice. We fight. We sometimes cant stand each other. For the sake of all that is holy, L! You have me chained to you because you distrust me so much!"

Things were growing quiet and the air was thicker because of it. "I...I feel like I've never been a real person."

"A monster."

Monster. The word hung there between them for a moment, drawing out the time Light needed to get over her embarrassment from revealing something like...that. She didn't even realize she felt that way until it was spewing from her mouth. The gaps she's had in her memory these last few months have been rapidly racing to reunite, to seal together so she could finally remember. The last week has been nightmare after nightmare. A part of her knows she's seeing flashbacks, that they aren't just figments her sleeping mind conjured. She doesn't want to be that person she sees. It scares her, if she were to be be honest with herself. For the first time in the entirety of her existence, she's honest.

"Yea...monster."

L's hand abandoned her cheek to seek his mouth once again. His eyes narrowing and looking away from her. "You're younger than I am."

"Not much."

"Seven years."

_Really?_ "Still not much."

He reconnected his eyes with her's, impatient. "You're my suspect."

Rolling her eyes is a habit she's recently acquired, she realizes. "It's not like you're a good person. No need to act like it, now."

"How true. You're a lot like me in that respect."

L's voice wasn't the same. No one else would have picked up on it, but he wasn't as sure of himself as he'd want to be. What he wanted was to be able to control this situation like he controls everything else. Light couldn't blame him. She's been a mess since attempting this little endeavor.

"You've never done this before. I haven't either."

"Really?" If he wasn't so stoic, she's certain he'd be raising a single, black eyebrow. "I'd figure someone like you would have young men throwing themselves at your feet. In fact, I know they do. I've witnessed it. Even miss Amane can't seem to resist you."

"Just because that's true doesn't automatically mean I'm obligated to do something about it. I've never been interested."

"But you're interested in me?"

"Not in the way you're implying."

"Do you like me, Light?"

"No." He knew her answer already. _Was he trying to figure her out? Good luck._ "I admire you. I've never met someone who could keep up with me. We operate on similar levels." She scooted closer, reminding L of the position they were in. Light could feel how he wanted to curl back into himself, but interest kept him where he was. Small, well-manicured fingers laced at the base of his neck, thumbs playing with the fine, black hair. "I don't know about you, but I'm fairly certain I'm never going to meet someone like you, again."

_Cold as always, Light_

Mechanical.

Genius.

Beautiful girl.

"I'm flattered." Monotone as always.

"If you don't want this, tell me." She was getting angry. "I happen to be in a very vulnerable position, and it's not a place I've ever been before. I don't like it in the slightest. Choose."

It has been said before, but if a single glare had the potential to burn, the one Light was directing his way would be the one to do it.

"Fine."

''...''

"For someone who initiated this, you seem rather..." A single, pale finger trailed down from the center of her forehead to the tip of her nose. "Surprised."

Light _was_ surprised. She had absolutely no idea why. Maybe she was distracted by the reality of L touching her. They've shared living space for months, of course he's touched her before, but it was always by accident or to get her attention. Something along those lines. He's never just touched her for the sake of touching her.

L released a breath of air. "We'll do this on your lead. I'm sure it's not hard to figure out that I've never done anything like this before."

"Okay." Not the most articulate she's ever been, she simply nodded. "But...hold on. I know why I'm doing this. What made you decide?"

"For the same reason you are, I suppose."

The same pale finger that trailed her nose returned to her face, curling against her skin to trace along her jawline. For someone who's never touched her before, he didn't seem to have issues with it, now. "You're right, more about me than you, but something tells me if I don't do this now, then I'll never get to do it. I'm choosing to do this."

_Why did that sound like an accusation? Or am I just taking it that way..._

"I said I'll let you take the lead. I do, however, have a request."

"What?" She questioned, clearly cautious of what he could possibly want in a messed-up situation like this.

"Let's take it slow." Before she could deny him, he added quickly, "If I could _ever _possibly enjoy something like this it would have to be with you."

L wasn't trying to flatter her-as if he were capable-but he was stating a fact. Of course, she agreed with him. It was the exact reason she started this to begin with.

Light didn't take the time to consider anything else. If she did, she was sure to jump off of him and brand herself on the other side of the couch. Instead, she steadied herself, inwardly cursing at the fact she was hesitating suddenly _like a fucking school girl._ She wasn't the type of person to do something half-way or rush into something based on emotions. No, she's thought this through. Once she's thought something through, then she would decide on what to do and then do it. Simple. Perfect.

She watched for any reaction she could, didn't move her eyes from his face for even a moment as she undid the first few buttons of her shirt. It was a pale green color, smart and sensible like everything else she owned. Her mother bought it for her just a few weeks before she graduated, said it brought out the cinnamon flecks of color in her eyes. Her mother was right.

With her pink bra revealed and her shirt hanging on the chain that stretched between them, she understood suddenly she was the one with the control. Virgin she was, but at least she knew what she was doing. Unlike the detective awestruck beneath her. An image of Misa kissing his cheek came to her recollection. He blushed then, was shocked enough by that simple act to leave him standing alone in the middle of the room.

_If I wasn't about to give my virginity away to this poor idiot, I'd be enjoying this in a sadistic sort of way, wouldn't I? _

Be that as it may, her own confidence wasn't making things any easier. Knowing that she was about to teach L everything she knew was making her nervous. His apparent awe of her body was pleasing her, though. An untapped part of her mind was easing her into the realization that she wanted him to enjoy this. Not because she loved him. Not because she liked him. Mostly, because she was a proud person that wanted to be the best at everything. Light tried to calm that part of herself, because that wasn't what this was about.

L stared at her like he was determining what he should be doing, hands moving awkwardly in the air. "Can I take your hair down?"

"Uh...sure?"

It didn't take much effort on his part. Her hair was piled in a messy heap on top of her head, held by a random pen she'd found while watching the same security tape a fifth, or was it sixth, time. She wasn't sure what he did with the pen, but his hands were pulling casually through her her, so she's guessing he'd thrown it behind him somewhere.

"I keep forgetting how long your hair is."

"I need to get it cut." Light shook her hair loose, noticing how the ends were starting to brush the middle of her waist. She'd need to do something with her hair soon if she didn't want the ends to start splitting.

L shook his head. "I wouldn't. You have rather nice hair. It always smells like coconut."

It was such an odd thing to pay attention to. It made her smile a little. "It's not fair, you know." She heard him say.

"What isn't?"

He shook his head. "You're beautiful. You're intelligent, as much so as I am, and yet I am the way I am and you're..." The skin between his forehead crinkled.

"It's just genetics, Ryuzaki. It's not like I chose them."

"Like I said, not fair." A small tilt of his lips indicated he wanted to smile, but wouldn't.

"Well, maybe if you'd brush your hair every once in awhile and stop avoiding the sun."

"Perhaps." He moved his thumb to the corner of her mouth- the thumb he kept on his own lips at almost all times.

Light acknowledged the unspoken request, leaning forward to make it easier on him. Her forehead rested against his, her eyes closed and waiting for him to do as he wanted. She was calm, now, without apprehending why and without caring. Almost a full minute had ticked by before the small warmth of his lips brushed against hers. Light almost jumped when he kissed her fully, not expecting him to be so bold. She took back that thought quickly. L was a lot like her. He wouldn't back down or shy away from something new, but set out to prove something, instead. He was going to test himself, test her. L didn't like not knowing. He'd figure this out.

The first thing that came to her mind while kissing him was to take his bottom lip- t_hat stupid bottom lip he always tortured with his thumb_- and suck it between her teeth, biting softly before letting it go. L froze. His entire body unmoving apart from his chest, which was increasing its movements with each breath. Light didn't know if he was reacting to what she wsa doing to him or if he was fighting withing himself not to push her off of him, either way, she did it again. Then she did it again. And again. And again. She nibbled on him until he started to nibble and suck and play back, finally understanding he was to give back as much as he got.

They kissed until his movements were less calculating and unsure and more fluid and natural, and when his shirt was off and her mouth was licking along his neck she didn't think about how comfortable he was with this. She was concerned she was going too fast, but when she felt his hand grip her hair she let it go. L's skin wasn't as cold as she thought it would be, and he wasn't as skinny as he appeared under those too big white shirts he always wore. He was affected by her, that much was certain; she could feel the swell of him against her.

Light stood slowly, legs wobbly due to poor circulation from straddling him for so long. She took a moment and kissed him while she waited for the tingles to subside, pulling back once the blood in her body completed its job. The button of her white khakis was warm from being pressed against L's torso. The fabric was pushed to her feet and she stepped out them, folding the pressed pants neatly and laying them beside her ''jailer''. She pulled him up by the front of his pants, ready to unbutton them, when it came to her attention that she was about to have sex. With L. _On a couch._

She grabbed his hand, leading him away from the tacky material that still smelled like the perfume Misa was wearing when she visited them earlier.

"What..." He started, but it was hard to focus when trying to walk at the quick pace Light was setting while sporting an erection. "Where are we going?"

"Where else? Our bedroom."

"Of course..."

"Your bed or mine?" She asked as soon as the door was open. He couldn't answer her with her tongue inside his teeth, so she pulled away, unbuttoning L's pants as she moved.

"Mine's closer."

"Right." She replied, guiding his pants down his lanky legs and sitting him down on the edge of his rarely slept in bed. Light chose to ignore the sound of metal hitting together as she moved to straddle him once again, or the way both of their shirts followed them around like a bad omen. "Couldn't even take the damn chain off for this" she growled against his neck.

"Sorry."

"No, you're not."

Things slowed down a bit once she took notice that he was completely naked. _I was right, she thought, he doesn't wear underwear_. Before she could unsnap her bra, he stopped her by grabbing her wrists.

"Wait. Let me." Light's hands were shaking in his, not realizing the fact until she took that moment to actually look at them. L kissed her when she tried to pull away. "Please."

A single nod and he let her wrists go. She shifted closer, arching her back a little to give him better access. Her bra sagged, the pressure keeping it tight gone once L finally got it unsnapped. The straps fell limp over her shoulders, the material remaining over her breasts only because her arms stayed unmoving at her sides, keeping it in place. Without warning, she relented the hold she had, giving the release needed for the bra to finally fall.

"I never thought..." He began. Not knowing what to say. He looked almost helpless. "Can I?"

"Yeah."

L slowly, so slowly that she thought he had changed his mind, brought his hand close to her. Two long, thin fingers made lines all along her chest, leaving goosebumps as he brushed along the undersides of her breasts and down her rib cage. Never groping or grabbing or pawing at her. He was watching, studying the way her flesh would prickle when he glided over a spot particularly sensitive, saving in the back of his mind when her muscles jumped slightly or tightened. She almost whimpered when his tongue darted out to lick his lip, eyes widening slightly when her nipples reacted to his fingertips.

The lower he made his way down, the heavier the blood rushed in her head. Kissing him seemed like the right thing to do just then. He was absentmindedly playing with the hem of her panties when she grabbed his hand and moved her lips from his.

_I can't stop thinking about how long his fingers are. I guess, if I were going to be a pervert, this would be the best time. _

"Sorry." He said. Eyes sharp yet unfocused. Worry etching his features, afraid he'd done something wrong. Terrified she'd be offended and move away from him.

She shook her head, placing his hand between her thighs. ''You can...you can touch me if you want, Ryuzaki." Her voice was shaky, she hated it. Hated him...but not really hate him.

When his hand wavered she kissed him again, placing those fingers inside her panties. A small hand with red painted fingernails covered his much larger hand, her fingers manipulating his like the keys of a piano, teaching him how to play her. L learns things quickly, she decided, removing her hand from atop his to grab the hair at the back of his head.

Very quickly.

Light wasn't used to being touched. She never touched herself. At least, not after her initial curiosity got the better of her one afternoon after talking with a few girls from school. If she rarely touched her own self, you could imagine the number of boys she allowed to touch her. None. Not one. Incredibly picky, she's not shy to admit, and a bit of a prude by nature. Light knew she scared most boys. Some called her mean, others called her cold or stuck up. They weren't totally wrong. Still, they always tried getting with her. She was attractive, she wasn't modest enough to believe she wasn't, but she couldn't fathom why they wouldn't give up.

'Orgasm' wasn't something she lived for. She's only given herself two, and while others say it's different to reach orgasm from someone else, that's not what she's aiming for with L. They were both new at this. The least virginal virgins you'd ever meet -nothing about either of them was innocent- but that didn't make much difference when you didn't have any experience, even if you technically knew what you were doing. L's fingers were long, so long and thin, and she's glad he seems to be better at this than she ever was.

"Can I?" He asked, stopping before inserting his fingers, making absolute certain he had her permission to do so. She tried not to acknowledge how appropriately kind it was. His voice was softer, timid, laced with the fascination that came when experiencing something new and finding it to be incredible.

"Yes." She licked her lips and tried, again; not liking the way she sounded, like she hadn't used her vocal cords in days. "I mean...continuing is kind of the point, isn't it?"

He liked the way her last word caught at the end when his middle finger entered her. "You talk far too much, Light."

Wet heat surrounded his finger. Liquid started to coat her inner walls, sticking to him. "You're very wet here."

Light sputtered at his choice of words. To hear L say something so crude and perverted was so out of character. "How dirty of you, Ryuzaki!"

"That wasn't my intention. I was simply stating a fact."

"Oh." _Of course he was._

Normally, the idea of someone's bodily fluids on him would disgust him, and on some level it still does, but for some reason he wasn't disgusted with Light's fluids. He wiggled his finger without thought, earning a sharp intake of breath from the pretty, little genius on his naked lap. No, he wasn't disgusted in the slightest. He experimented with her, taking his time to figure out how deep she liked him to go, how fast, one finger or two or, no...definitely not three.

A few minutes later and her shame was dead thing. Light curled her toes, practically riding his hand as he fucked her with his fingers. Finger fucking. She was being finger fucked by L. _Oh, my god. _

She moved her tongue in and out of his mouth, mimicking what he was doing to her between her thighs. It occurred to her after a minute more of L fingering her how badly she wanted to orgasm, even though she wasn't expecting one, she wanted it. Light's hand was touching L's, rubbing herself as quickly as she could. At some point, it hit her that she was no loner kissing the detective beneath her; instead, her mouth was hanging open, deep bursts of air and barely audible whines escaping her. L's fingers had stopped moving in her, but she continued working herself on them. Black eyes kept steadily on her face, never blinking, studying the way she looked as she brought herself self closer and closer to orgasm.

L's mouth opened as she released around his fingers, her walls spasming and her shoulders jerking once, twice, a third time before calming. Light's fluids were leaking down to collect in the palm of his hand. "Was that a female orgasm?"

She laughed a little. Feeling airy and silly from the rush of endorphins in her blood. "It was."

"Light has never looked like that before."

Messy. Disoriented. Free. Out of control.

"I'm sure." She said, pushing him until he was laying on his back. Her legs pulled as she tried to crawl further up his body, threatening a cramp from being stuck in one position for too long. Light opted for letting herself fall on her side, lazily shuffling her body on her back beside him. "Help me take these off, yea?"

The only article of clothing she had left was her panties. L was on his knees and between her's faster than she'd ever give him credit for. His hands taking hold of her panties in that awkward way that drove her nuts. She sighed. "Please, don't treat my underwear like they're contaminated with cooties or something. I just came around your fingers, so I'm fairly certain you're past this."

The breathy, spent tone didn't do any wonders for getting her sarcastic point across. Still, though, he corrected his hold and began pulling them down as she had asked. "You can stop."

"Hmm?" Was she really so relaxed that she was reduced to this mess of a helpless girl? L was close enough that she could play with his hair.

L leaned back, causing her hand to fall from him. "We can stop this if you don't want to go any further."

"We could." Light said, sitting up on her elbows so she could peck him on the lips. "Or we could keep going. I want to. I know you want to." She reached back, stretching to grab a pillow and tuck it under her head. "Unless...you've changed your mind?"

L was still between her bare legs, unwilling to deny her even if he wanted to. If he denied her then he'd be denying himself. _I always thought men were exaggerating a woman's pull... _

His hand was still sticky from her. He brought it up to look at it, remembering how it felt, how she felt. Hot. Moist. Soft but solid. The way her insides fluttered is something he'll never forget. Those same fingers touched her stomach. Light was fit, but she was soft there. All of her skin was soft under him.

"I wouldn't turn away from you, Light-chan. I'm a selfish man.''

Her panties were soon pulled down her legs and thrown over L's shoulder. L simply sat there on his knees, unmoving and breathing heavily. She was getting embarrassed from the way he was staring at her- that unsure, vulnerable feeling making her sick. Aggravation settled over her. When she tried to flip L over he gripped her thighs, keeping her on her back.

"I'm not getting this opportunity, again, Light. Let me look at you." He was doing more than that. He was memorizing her as she was now- a beautiful, smart girl who chose to be naked in his bed. Storing it in his mind, praying that she was telling the truth, praying he wouldn't have to use this memory to replace the one of her charged guilty of being Kira in the near future. L never wanted her to be innocent more than he did at this moment.

It was getting unbearable under his gaze. She had to make a move. "Have you ever been touched, Ryuzaki?"

"You know the answer to that already." He sighed. "Does it seem like I'm the type of man women want to touch? Aahhh!"

Light held him in her hand, feeling the stiff member twitch at the contact. She couldn't determine if he was big, seeing as how she can count how many penises she's seen in person on zero fingers. He wasn't small, though. She gave him an unsteady grin as she pumped him slowly, observing his face for a sign she's doing this right. Not that there's many ways to pump someone's dick.

"This okay?"

"No."

Her hand retreated like he burned it. Don't take it personally, she thought. _Don't care_.

"Don't do that, Light. It was...good." How did she only just become aware of how unraveled he appeared. L hung his head. "Like I've said, I've never been touched. If you're wanting this to progress and last any amount of time _at all._.. then touching me would have to stop."

Oh. _Stupid, Light._

"Scoot back some." He complied. Backing up enough to let her set up on her knees. "Now, lay back."

Apparently, he wasn't following instruction fast enough. She pushed him on his back, hands bracing herself on his chest as she hooked her left leg over his hips to straddle him, yet again. Her fingers spread out against his skin, the color much milkier than her own complexion. She took a moment to just look at him. Her mind finding it hard to believe the blushing, nervous man beneath her was the same man that's held the keys to her freedom the last few months.

_He really doesn't look that bad._

L was openingly admiring her at this point. The view he's capable of getting pretty stellar. He's not an expert on the female body, but he would have to consider Light's to be far above average. She wasn't tall, quite average in height, but she had long, shapely legs and thick thighs. Her legs had to be L's favorite physical feature. Light was thin with a curvy stomach. Her breasts were nice. Not small, but not very large, either- he bets he can fit one perfectly in the curve of his hand.

He doesn't doesn't have time to test that theory, because Light sits up straighter, her hips aligning just right above him.

Then heat. That wet, wet heat he hadn't been able to predict would be _so fucking wonderful_.

Light's surrounding him. Killing him, he swears she's killing him. Her bottom lip is trapped between her teeth in what he guesses _isn't_ pleasure. She hadn't taken her time, just sunk down on him all of sudden.

"Ryuzaki..." She mutters. Light isn't in pain, not really. Her hymen broke a long time ago thanks to excessive tennis practice. But she wasn't comfortable, not even close. The stretch of him inside her was sharper than she thought it would be. Being on top wasn't the best decision she's ever made. "You're going to have to be on top."

L hadn't blinked since she'd straddled him, but he closed them upon hearing her request, mentally sighing. He nodded as he lifted his torso, kissing her forehead before they moved.

She was below him. _Oh, my god...Light's below me._ He thought being able to stare up at her was the best sight his eyes had ever been able to afford, but he was so very wrong. Light under him, unraveling, unkempt, and open was greater by far. L felt victorious.

He rested his head against her shoulder as he entered her, allowing himself time to get used to the feel of her. L didn't want this to end too quickly, so he spent his time and energy as best he could. "I'm not going to be good at this," he mumbled against her skin.

"Don't worry about it." The younger genius ghosted her fingers across his bony shoulders. "Just move...and stop thinking so much."

L followed her advice, face buried in her neck as he moved slowly inside her. Her breath was uneven and choppy. "Are you okay?"

"Of course. Just...just a bit of a tight fit. It'll pass."

A minute passed before he lifted his head. His black eyes roamed over her face. The slight red tint of her skin. Eyes closed tight. Mouth open, puffs of labored air escaping her every time he'd thrust. Light opened her eyes, catching his by surprise, but he held the gaze. The fingers that were once lightly passing over his shoulders were now digging into the skin there, sure to leave nail indents when they were finished. She shifted her hips and brought her knees up higher, providing him the pleasure of going deeper. L could feel the heels of her feet bumping every so often against his ass as he moved faster.

Pressure was building somewhere deep inside him. He wasn't going to last much longer. His thumb traced her bottom lip. "So soft."

They were breathing heavier after a few minutes and the air was hot around them. Sweat slickened their legs and arms and necks. Her head was tilted back and her eyes were closed, savoring this feeling caused by an actual human being.

"Light..." L's voice was strained above her, gaining her attention. He sounded borderline scared, which he might have been. She wonders if he's even had an orgasm before. He leaned down to kiss her hard, his entire body tensing, frozen still as he came.

A few more minutes passed. L was still laying half on top of her, neither of them had bothered to say anything. "I'm sorry."

She looked down to meet his stare. "Whatever for?"

"It didn't last very long and I'm sure it wasn't the most pleasurable experience for you."

Light sighed, recognizing the sincerity of his concern hidden in the otherwise bored tone. "We're both virgins before this. What else was it supposed to be like?"

He turned his head, cheek resting warmly against her shoulder. "Did it hurt?"

"Nah. I'm a tough girl." She smirked, amusement playing in her eyes. Light flipped them, capturing his lips in a long, lazy kiss. "Just so you know, it _was_ pleasurable for me. I mention that because you seem to have forgotten me orgasming around your fingers."

He blushed all the way from his ears to his neck.

It was probably the last time she'd see him like this. This moment was fleeting. When it ends, she'll have to go back to being someone she doesn't care for.

"Wow..." He muttered some time later.

"..."

"I just had sex."

She laughed out loud. "Yes, L. You did."

"I just has sex with a beautiful girl." Light's pride swelled at that. "And I didn't even have to bribe her, trick her, or pay for it."

Light swatted him. "Way to ruin the mood, you socially retarded freak."

* * *

_**Welp. There you have it! **_

_**Hopefully, this came across as a more realistic sex scene. Especially for virgins. Also, I tried not to make them too OC. I did what I could with a hot, genderbent Light, though ) **_


End file.
